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Editor’s note: For April Fool’s Day, Shadai (GrinningRemnant’s editor-at-large and venerable FoWcast co-host) published a fake press release about new features that were to be implemented into Force of Will Battle Simulator. Specifically, Shadai was talking about an actual, legit matchmaking system, arena points, and RDE being added to the card pool. These are features that the community has been clamoring to have added to the FOWO client since the beta launched. He hoped that this would grab the attention of somebody at Force of Will Co and remind them that we still want FOWO to be a great system. His article can be found here: http://www.grinningremnant.com/articles/news/breaking-news-fow-battle-simulator-huge-update/
Turns out that somebody from FoW Co did indeed notice Shadai’s article, but the response he got was nothing short of irreverence from Jordan, FoW Co community outreach extraordinaire.
What you are about to read is Shadai’s frustrated, entirely justified response.

Anything that is posted on a fan website like that, that’s some kind of big update that’s posted on fan website, is not posted on the official website or the official Facebook page first is absolutely lie or a trick or whatever.

That was a quote from our fearless leader Jordan on his latest Q & A Stream regarding my article about the Battle Simulator update.  And it’s somewhat fair.  We here at Grinning Remnant are not in any capacity an official website.  Although it is not for lack of trying.  Alex has attempted numerous times to contact his majesty J-Wall or FOW corporate and been stonewalled every time.  We would love to be an official site.  Unfortunately, the emperor without clothes refuses to take our calls. 

But no matter.  We don’t really care.  Not being official means we get to call the company out when they do stupid things or make bad decisions instead of being forced to tow the party line.  We’ll continue to post up decklists, promos, strategy, spoilers, and the occasional April Fool’s Day jokes.  Just because we aren’t official doesn’t make the content we push all lies or tricks.  Our own Zak slogs through each of Jordan’s Q & A streams to recap them so you don’t have to force yourself to watch that train wreck every week.

We don’t get paid to do this.  Alex pays for this site out of his own pocket every day.  Those of us who spend time doing this don’t do it for some monetary reward.  We do it out of love for the game.  We love this game, and we want to see it succeed.  Jordan, if our “fan site” draws more eyeballs and gets people interested in the game, you should probably be thanking us, not condemning us for our work.

He goes on to say:

 I actually read that and they said like oooohh I was one of the people that beta tested, (shakes head) it’s like no (laughs)

 Yes, because you are so good at beta testing.

Actually, that was my tell in the entire article so people would know it was fake.  Force of Will and “beta test” don’t go together.  Remember R/R?  You know, shining twins about yay high, creepy as hell, almost destroyed the entire game?  Great beta testing there, chief.  Besides, the entire Battle Simulator project is still in beta test.  I wasn’t beta testing the beta test.

 They were just tricking people.

 Kinda.

Look I admit it was an April Fool’s Day joke.  Guilty as charged.  But it wasn’t meant to be funny.  It was meant to kindle a feeling in the community and elicit a response we haven’t felt in a while.

Hope.

That’s right, hope.  Do you want to know what kind of comments we were getting?  People were talking about this article not because it was funny or mean or anything.  If anything, people were mostly disappointed and saddened by it.  Because almost everyone to a man or woman looked at it the same way.

“Man, I know it’s April 1st, and it’s probably a joke, but man I really hope it’s true.”

Jordan missed this entirely.  He incorrectly assumed it was some funny joke that wasn’t funny because he or some official website didn’t think of it first.  What he missed was the feeling the community had about what the article said, and the hope that just maybe, it could be true.

What that article I wrote represented was a love letter to the company.  It was as a fan of this game, looking at where the Battle Simulator is right now, going “how can I make this better”?  There weren’t any lies in that article.  Everything I said was true outside of the secret beta test and the release date.  Everything in that article represented what I would love to see this piece of software have.

Why?

Because it MAKES IT BETTER.  It makes it useful.  It makes it good.  If they could somehow pull all of those things off I wrote of in that article, the community would go nuts.  We would all celebrate it as the greatest thing ever, and perhaps maybe, just maybe, draw some more players into this game.

But that would require someone in FOW to speak and read English, read that article for the wish list of features I intended it to be, and go “you know, there are some pretty good ideas here we should work on”.  Or, failing that person, someone with a live stream attached in some “official” capacity and the comprehension skills of a flaccid gerbil to actually have the balls to take it to the company and go, “You know, he makes some pretty good points here.”

If only I knew where the breakdown occurred.  I guess the world will never know.

 Vmpslushie: It was a pretty elaborate joke… Jordan: Was it?  I can see how it could be convincing, but it was just one text article, wasn’t it?

 Yep.  It was just one text article.  And do you know why that was?

I toyed with the idea of having Zak whip up some doctored screenshots of the “updated” menus and in-game UI.  I ended up deciding against that because I felt that it would lend too much realism and be, as stated, too elaborate that people wouldn’t see it for what it was.  So I didn’t. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I would never beta test something, then come back to report on it without screenshots.  Never ever. 

That feeling of hope most people got when they read it?  That was what I was after.  That is what the community wants.  We want this game to succeed.  We want it to be good.  We want to attract new players.  All of us have ideas to make the game better.  If only we had some way of conveying this properly to FOW.

What about the article on the battle simulator update?  That was also a lie.  It was posted on a fan website, not on the official face.. no where on the official website or the official Facebook page.

It’s obviously fake.

What should have tipped you off immediately what someone who had no official connection to Force of Will staff or anything said that they were involved in like Beta testing or something, which… no (laughs)

 

Way to be that official mouthpiece, Jordan.

Instead of antagonizing some of your game’s biggest fans for appropriate criticism, you should do something constructive with it.

Battle Simulator needs help.  It needs more people beta testing.  But FOW doesn’t understand how clunky it is to use when peer-to-peer is the way to connect instead of proper matchmaking.  If they actually wanted that project to succeed they’d devote more resources to it instead of going off half-cocked into two more games literally zero of us asked for.

People were asking you if it was true because they hoped it was true.  If only you weren’t so disconnected from the community you’d understand why we want it. 

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Shadai has played games his entire life. Board, Card, Tabletop, Role-playing, Video.... Writing about them is just a fun side job he gets to do when he's not playing games.

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